


hart of the devil

by merwinist



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Deal With the Devil, Demon AU, Demon!Harry - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Other, Supernatural Elements, but i left it vague in case i decided to change my mind, can you figure out what merlin is, human!Eggsy, if i ever added more to this, the hints are all fairly obvious, this is another pre-ship fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 19:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19893106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merwinist/pseuds/merwinist
Summary: Eggsy signed a contract without reading it. Harry... Well, he's still a little shit. Merlin isn't impressed, by anything.





	hart of the devil

**Author's Note:**

> I definitely listened to "Hold Me Down" by Halsey on repeat while I read this

“I’m goin’ ta be honest, I don’t think ya can actually break it,” Eggsy admitted, sitting in front of a solid desk that looked hundreds of years old. Real posh type shit, all gleaming polish and swirly accents. The man behind the desk also seemed posh, in his cardigan and tie and slacks, although the Scottish accent probably gave him trouble with London’s upper crust. Luckily, it wasn’t the upper crust Eggsy needed help with. No, his issues were rather more… subterranean.

  
The man, who’d only introduced himself as Merlin, did not seem surprised or bothered by this lack of faith. “That,” he pronounced crisply, “is why _I_ am the one doing the work, and nae ye.” It wasn’t really derogatory, and it was certainly true, so Eggsy just shrugged and nodded because, yeah, as far as deals with the devil went he was way out of his league. The only reason he was even involved was because of that damn favor that had apparently come from his father. More trouble than it was worth.

  
He’d spent so long avoiding calling it in, knowing nothing good could come of some stranger offering string-free help — and he’d been right. The devil, or _a_ devil, Eggsy supposed, had introduced himself as Harry Hart. Rather an odd name for a satanic being, that, but Eggsy hadn’t really been in any place to quibble while staring down the barrel of three years in the slammer, away from Daisy. It would have been fine, honest, if all Eggsy had needed was to be released. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t have solved the problem of Dean and his goons; since he hadn’t been specific enough with his favor, he’d had to make another deal.

  
The devil’s in the details and all, yeah?

  
So now, a few months later, things were looking up. Dean and his dogs were all locked up in some high security rotter, his mum was actually getting clean and taking an interest in her second child — he wasn’t bitter, most of the time. The only issue was, he didn’t actually want to owe his soul to Hell. Since, for one, he didn’t really believe the whole fire and brimstone nonsense. Not since Dean had come into his life and shown him that hell on earth was a man who pretended to be pious one day a week, only to be an unremitting scumbag the rest of the time. And two, he was a bit worried that demon would try to collect on his soul early, and Eggsy couldn’t have that. He needed a natural long life — or, at least, to survive long enough to see Daisy set on a solid path to success. Once he knew she was okay, he’d stop fighting it.

  
So he told that to this rules lawyer a friend of a friend had recommended. “I ain’t really lookin’ ta welsh or nuffin, I just need assurances I ain’t gonna get hit by a bus tomorrow. Gotta make sure my lil sis is all set up first.” He’d go through being chained up like Prometheus if he had to for his little sister. She was the best thing in his life. Usually that was depressing, but it wasn’t like he’d had a lot going for him even before she’d been born. Canon fodder for the crown had been his highest aspiration at that point, as long as it got him away from Dean.

  
The Scotsman raised on eyebrow at him, looking severely unimpressed. “I am the best at what I do for a reason, Mr. Unwin. I’m nae in the business of half measures.” As he spoke, the sound of tapping mixed with the click of expensive shoes could be heard coming up the stairs Eggsy had recently walked to reach this office. A polite _rap-rap_ echoed oddly about the room, but before Call-Me-Merlin could say anything, the door swung open to admit one Harry Hart. The lawyer sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “As usual, ye only care about manners when it’s ye being inconvenienced, Harry. Well, come in, I have nae got all millenia.”

  
_That_ made Eggsy’s eyes go wide. He’d assumed Merlin was human like him. He could hear his mum in his ear with a quip about assuming, but he pushed it out for now. He needed to focus, especially since the demon had registered his presence.

  
“Ah, my most recent… client. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised to find you in Merlin’s company.” The dismissive tone made him bristle, but a quelling look from ol’ baldie had him sitting back in his chair without a word. It wouldn’t do to get on the bad side of two eternal beings in one day.

  
Merlin didn’t seem all that concerned, waving for Harry to sit in the chair next to Eggsy without pause. Eggsy, however, could feel the heat radiating off of Harry even with the space between them. It made him uneasy simply because it didn’t make him uneasy at all; in fact, it was almost soothing — and that only put Eggsy more on his guard. “I presume ye ken why we’re here, Harry,” Merlin announced without fanfare.

  
Adjusting his cufflinks even though they didn’t really need them, Harry surveyed Eggsy from under his eyelashes before turning a sly glance on the other man. “Well, I believe I know why _you’re_ here, Merlin. Mr. Unwin, on the other hand, really has no reason to be dissatisfied with the deal I gave him.”

  
Merlin didn’t rise to the bait, instead leveling that unflinching gaze on Harry. “I’d like tae see the original contract, if ye please.”

  
“Oh, very well,” Harry sighed, as if this was simply an intrusion upon his time rather than a matter of life and… Well, afterlife. Eggsy figured he did this all the time, but it still rankled to be part of the masses of people who’d needed Harry’s services at some point or another. He felt like he’d failed because he hadn’t been able to hack it on his own.

  
Silence fell in the room as Merlin began to flip through the very thick stack of papers that had appeared on his desk with a wave of Harry’s hand. The demon in question puttered around with Merlin’s kettle, raising a questioning eyebrow at Eggsy while preparing two cups to different specs. He knew if he tried to drink anything he’d probably sick it back up, so even though the brew smelled divine, he shook his head before returning to inspecting his shoes.

  
Shortly before Eggsy would have resorted to pinching the webbing of his thumb to keep still, Merlin looked up at him and said, “Ye really signed this without reading it.” It wasn’t a question, but Eggsy answered with a nod anyway, garnering a long-suffering sigh. “Well, the good news is, this is nae a soul contract.”

  
Eggsy was confused as fuck. Harry looked far too pleased with himself when Eggsy looked over for confirmation. “So… What’s the bad news?” There was always bad news.

  
“Nothing terrible,” Harry cut in smoothly. “As a matter of fact, it’s a job opportunity.”

  
Merlin leveled the demon with a quelling glare. “It’s an unpaid internship is what it bloody is. There’s an exit clause or two in here, of course, but Harry would have tae exercise it.”

  
Eggsy bit his lip hard before blurting out, “What kinda internship? Doin’ what? I ain’t gonna have ta murder nobody, am I?”

  
The immediate and obvious distaste on Harry’s face was actually reassuring. “No. I’ve no use for killers, I’m not Chester.” He and Merlin shared a knowing look before they both turned back to Eggsy. “Think of it as… Insurance. I’ll pop in occasionally, teaching you things you’ll need to know, and when you die, you’ll work with me. It’s fairly similar to the deal I had in place with your father when he his accident unfortunately cut our association short.” Something dark flashed across his face at that, making Eggsy think there was more to that story. Bringing his teacup to his lips, Harry took an unhurried sip but didn’t say more. “As I said, nothing terrible.”

  
As the only human in the room, Eggsy was still suspicious as fuck. “Merlin?”

  
“Aye, lad, that’s the gist of it.” Merlin rifled through the last few pages of the stack contemplatively. “I actually think it’s a fairly decent deal. Surprising, fer this one.” He cut a shrewd glance at the posh demon, who merely rippled his shoulders in a casual shrug. There was more between these two than Eggsy could figure out in a single afternoon, that was for sure.

  
“What sorta things are ya wantin’ ta teach me?” he asked, still unable to stop pressing.

  
“The tricks of the trade, mostly,” Harry answered without hesitating. “You have a natural vibration that could be harnessed for extremely potent results — useful during and after life, that.”

  
Eggsy couldn’t stop his face from screwing up in disbelief. “The only vibratin’ I do is the kind that requires the door ta be locked.”

  
Merlin choked on his tea, laughing even while he wheezed. Harry was unperturbed, merely offering the lawyer a handkerchief and drawling, “As fascinating as that might be to see in action, it’s not quite what I meant. Have you ever heard of auras, Eggsy?”

  
He scoffed. “Ya mean like the woo-woo colors o’ people’s souls or whatever?”

  
Another sigh. Eggsy was starting to think Harry was part bagpipe. “A simple, if accurate, description. As a dealer demon, my job isn’t to torment souls in the afterlife — it’s to tempt people into things they already want but try to deny themselves. A little hedonism never hurt anybody. It’s only when they get greedy that people get into trouble.” With that, Harry looked deep into Eggsy’s eyes, and he felt like a rabbit pinned down by a hawk. “As a matter of fact, that’s what was so curious about you. It took you seventeen years to call in that favor, and when you did, it wasn’t even truly for you. Even the secondary deal you made was for the benefit of your loved ones.”

  
Eggsy sat with that for a minute, mulling it over. “I don’t wanna be evil or nuffin, though. I don’t wanna make people go ta Hell forever. Not unless they deserve it.”

  
Merlin actually answered that comment. “Luckily, Harry’s department does nae deal in condemnation. His is more… Giving people tools that they may then use any way they see fit.” Eggsy snorted. That didn’t sound all that different, since most humans were short-sighted and self-centered. “Aye, lad, ye’ve the right of it, but putting a knife in someone’s hand is nae the same as committing murder. A knife can be used fer many innocent purposes. Humans just… Rarely tend tae be rational.”

  
Eggsy thought of Dean, who would probably have used a deal with Harry to bring pain and anguish to hundreds of other people. He thought of so many politicians, corrupted even without a demon in their pocket. And he thought of Daisy, who would grow up happy and unafraid of every creak and squeal of the flat. All in all, his conscience wasn’t really prickling; he just felt that it _ought_ to be. Human morals, which had no place in this conversation really.

  
“So, how often should I expect lessons?” he asked, all but giving his answer. “And in what?”

  
Harry began listing things, though it was surely not exhaustive. Etiquette, comportment (whatever that was), diplomacy. Seduction even, which piqued Eggsy’s attention, and he couldn’t help but tug on Merlin’s metaphorical pigtails a bit. “Can I practice me skills on ya, Merlin?” Batting his eyes like a teenage girl, Eggsy regarded the light blush that dusted the top of Merlin’s head with interest.

  
Harry, too, seemed drawn in, adding, “It _would_ help to have someone who is actually immune to infernal powers to practice against. If you can reach an acceptable level that way, doing the work itself will be a walk in Regent’s Park.”

  
Mention of a walk had Eggsy realizing just how cramped and drawn tight all of his muscles were, not to mention his stomach came roaring back into awareness with the subtlety of a freight train. The resulting grumble was loud enough to reverberate in the room; Eggsy tried not to be mortified while Merlin looked at him askance and Harry’s eyes crinkled in amusement. “Perhaps we could go for dinner, to celebrate sorting this out to everyone’s satisfaction?” suggested the suave demon. Eggsy wondered how many centuries it would take him to become that smooth. Then he startled to realize his frame of reference for time had suddenly become much much larger.

  
With centuries, he’d _have_ to be able to seduce both of them, right? If not at the same time, then probably separately. Harry already seemed interested, if the vibrator comment was anything to go on. The Scottish entity was likely a total grump on the outside but a total marshmallow on the inside, Eggsy could tell. The two of them bantered and bickered as they walked to a swanky restaurant that miraculously had a table available when Merlin called, Eggsy content to take a back seat and watch them. They were obviously old friends.

  
He couldn’t wait to get to know the both of them at that level. For the first time in his memory, Eggsy Unwin was actually looking forward to the future. He supposed he was lucky he’d made a deal with a devil who had a heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Come drop a Kingsman fic prompt in my [tumblr ask box!](queerjonmund.tumblr.com/ask)


End file.
